The Joys of Moving

We are moving this weekend to Orem Ut.  I am not really excited right now because I hate moving.  I know it is the right thing to do because then Scout dose not have to commute so much but man it drives me crazy to move.  But I am getting over it and am very excited to move nearer to my brother and his family in Provo and very happy to be nearer to one of my friends that I have been friends with since I was like 10.  Life is full of changes and sometimes I feel like I am just trying to keep up but I am happy and have a great husband and a wonderful blessing on the way so I am go with that and trusting that the Lord knows what he is doing with me. 

Wonderful News

So went to the Heart doctor this last week just to get checked out.  I walked into the doctors office so nervous.  All I have had since I have been pregnant has been bad news whenever I go to the doctor.  He checked me out and then looked at me and said that my heart is a little fast but that is a good thing because I am pregnant.  It felt great because my heart has had a problem pumping earlier in my pregnancy.  Then he told me that he is not worried about Heart Failure anymore also.  Do you even know how relived I was to hear that??  I have been dealing with all the news of me not being able to have another baby and now to find out that I can it is wonderful.  I can now do what normal pregnant woman do including more exercise.  It makes me so excited.  And I found out that I can exercise up to my 9th month of pregnancy so I am even more excited for that.  I am so grateful for the Lord and how he has helped me.  I am so grateful for my dear husband who has supported me through all of the hard days.  I am so grateful for the rest of my family and friends for helping me and supporting me through it all.  I am now looking forward to the future a lot less stressed and excited to have this baby come to our family.

Hard Stuff

I have been going crazy about not being able to really exercise hard since I have been pregnant.  Don't get me wrong I am so happy to have a baby on the way but when I go out to exercise I am so used to really getting down and burning some calories.  And you just cant do it when you are pregnant.  How crazy dose that make me????  Really! Ask my wonderful dear husband that has to hear about it like everyday before we go to bed but I am glad that I only have  3 1/2 months and then I can get out there and get in shape again.   But the Lord and great friends that let me vent have helped me through this hard thing for me.  So I will get through it and be totally fine and I will grow from it.

Walking with my dad

I absolutely love going walking with my dad in the morning. We are going to be moving next month and I am going to miss it so much. We talk about lots of different things. This morning my dad told me that he likes that I go the hard way in the walks. We go up hills instead of going the opposite way and make the hard uphill downhill. I told him the reason I do that is because it drives me crazy to not be able to jog so I have to make my work outs worth it. I love to exercise and I know I am totally CRAZY for saying that but it helps me in so many areas in my life. It helps me not gain a ton of weight and then after this baby comes I can lose weight faster. It helps me stay energized. Helps me stay focused on what I need to do and be in life because when I walk I think about my life and what needs to change of make better. I am already planing how many races I am going to be doing next summer. I am so excited to get back to racing. I plan to do my first Triathlon next summer along with 5k's and 10k's. I am actually starting at thanksgiving and Christmas and doing a couple of 5k's to get started. So if you are exercising or even thinking about it go for it and I promise it will make you feel so much better in all areas of you life.

True Friends

In the last couple of months I have really had some awesome friends help me through some hard times. I love it when we can sit and just chat about everything. And when it got really hard for me in some ways then I was so grateful for their love and support in things that I really have had a hard time with lately. My burdens feel so much lighter than they were even a few weeks ago. I am now excited for my life and thank god everyday for the friends I have.

Today is Wonderful

What a wonderful day today.  I got to go out on my daily walk this morning in the rain which dose not bother me too much at all.  I love going out there and just listening to my music and just clear my mind and relive stress. As I was walking today I could not help think about how much my life has changed in the last two years.  I went from never wanting to get married again to being married and going to have a baby in a few months.  Life is great. 

Mothers Day

How wonderful Mothers day is.  I have always loved this day when you get to remember what your mom has done for you.  I have always loved sitting in Sacrament at church and listening to the Primary children sing about mothers and how much they love him.  This mothers day is different for me though.  I have gone through years of not having children and not knowing if I was going to have any in this lifetime.  And this year I am pregnant with my first and probably last child.  I am so grateful that the Lord has heard my prayers and that he has intrusted me with one of his little ones.  I am so grateful for a husband that is working with me to being a at home mom and that he cares more about family than he dose about things of the world.  I am just happy with my life and were it is going and so excited to finally have a little one of my own.

My thoughts Lately....

As I woke up the past two days I have had some confusion to a extent.  I have been busy with school and doctor apts for quite a while now and all of a sudden I wake up and school is done for a month.  I thought laying in bed this morning what do I do with my time.  I still have  ALOT of doctor apts but no school  do you realize how much time that leaves me.  I don't have very many friends that I hang out with because I am not good at getting close to other people.  I tend to get close to someone and then back off.  I know it has a lot to do with my last marriage and some things I went through but now as I sit and ponder what to do it is amazing to have so much free time.
  I have decided that as I am working on the whole getting close friends thing again I am going to work on different things that need to change.  I am working more on spiritually growing and being happy no matter what life throws at me.  I have a AWESOME husband that I can really be open with and we have a great relationship.  That is a good feeling and I love him more and more everyday.  I have also decided to try and slow down and just enjoy what I can control and let go of what really frustrates me in my life right now. 
 Last thing to work on for awhile is to get over the heartache I feel for probably never being able to have another child.  I have thought about this one a lot.  I am  woman who has waited now 11years to have children.  And now that I am able to do it I have doctors telling me that I should not have another one after this because of my heart problem.  Do they even realize how long I have waited to have children? ???  Of course not they just know what is wrong with my heart and that it could really do some damage to me.  I have tried to come to terms with it the last few weeks but it is so hard for me.
I have always imagined like 3-4kids running around my house.  It is okay though I will make it through and I am so greatful for the dear little one that I have. I have decided that I am going look at the good side to only having one baby..

1.  The Lord loves me and I know that 1 baby is just as good as 10.
2. I get to be a mom.
3. I get my figure back and never have to worry about losing it to pregnancy again.

So I know the third one is kinda on the selfish end but I am so grateful that the Lord trust me with at least one baby.  

Health during pregnancy

So the past few months have been crazy.  about a month into my pregnancy I was having a hard time breathing and so I went to the doctor.  The doctor told me that it could be a blood clot in my lungs so he had me go and take a x-ray.  The found nothing, then he had me go in and do a heart ultrasound.  Well they found that in the heart ultrasound my heart is not pumping correctly enough so that all the air that is needed for the baby and me is getting through.  The doctor told me that the baby is getting enough air it is jut me.  Well he had me cut 2classes in school and then quit my part time job.  I was so upset because I really wanted to bring in some extra money so we could get ahead.  But my dear husband told me that my job is to grow a healthy baby and to stay off of full bed rest.  It was so hard because I found this all out about 3weeks after finding out that one of the twins I was carrying died and work and school were the only thing really that was keeping me sain. As I look back now cutting back was the best idea that the Lord could have had me do.  Because if I did not cut back I could have lost both of the babies.  The doctor has told me that I can exercise again as long as I am careful.  I still have more and more problems every day breathing but I feel better now that I can take my time with things.